drafting again the moments

by jeffery mcnary

there was no warning
…you’ve been there a while

wrapped in plain, simple clothes

your basic credo of imitation
rallying from your pores

i arrived scrambling

watching

awed by a rough tide
fragile, needy, seeking
a shower and certainty,

a grin
and clutching a new found look
and blanket of promise

we meshed briefly…your tides
my spastic wandering
my sorry existentialism
your spotty gardens

with dark weight
we were anything but

akin

you angered
like a soldier…cool and sudden
with storms breaking and snapping
filthy and vile
in the morning air

absent a winged entry, on ocassion,

i'd have left you then

who are you to be loved

was it ever in your cards?

bruised, my options reclaimed…
decidedly vengeful in a close-up engagement
we slurred fool-like
into bad fashion
and the linear
my art saw a violent time
i needed to do that

early on i caught your jetties and waters
if not your needs, your good days
your scary nights
near and
seductive above the waves
out of touch and beyond the news of causalities
on both sides

you clumsy girl

launching childlike
into laughter…holding court

demanding victims
seeking sacrifice…
cold and full of advice

how far we’ve come
...and gone

radiant in late spring
disfigured in summer
aglow again in autumn
my workmanship honed in spite
of our minor celebrations

you weren't extinct when the crowds

went
...flawed

you twinkled on
unapologetic
hell and gosh and full of cynicism
on the arm of a pick-up truck for life, paltry

too far from Cambridge
too far from st. germaine des pres…petit vineyard
a’capella anarchy knows no better

that status remains visible
from the coast line
carlyland
the island
the un-cuba
your fingers about my ankles

i am a writer now
there is no otherwise

it is my cadence and discourse
and you are maintained in my annotations
a stop
by the asylum

and somewhat embarrassed and contrite
i will get off now stranger
and go where i go